One of the things I have been doing over the past few years is leading weekend workshops for engaged couples about twice a year. These consist of a Friday evening and most of the day Saturday. In these workshops, I work with couples to help them ask and answer some really good questions. The idea behind this time is to provide a container…a framework for couples to engage in the kind of deep, personal conversation that they might not have had a lot of intentional time to have. I don’t ever tell couples what to think or believe…I just offer really great questions and they come up with the answers. And most of the time, I ask at least some questions they have never actually talked about.
You see, there are a lot of assumptions made in a relationship. Assumptions about who will do what, about how things will happen with extended families, about finances and parenting styles and even around what foods are a “must-have” or a given at holiday meals. There are LOTS of topics and questions that couples haven’t sat down to hash out yet…because each assumes the other will be on the same page.
So yes, I believe that marriage preparation is a good idea. It’s a great idea to devote a little intentional time to this before the BIG DAY. Life is so busy and getting ready for a wedding is stressful, exhausting and a huge time vampire.
Why is more time devoted to preparing for the ceremony, than is devoted to preparing for the rest of your life together?
It isn’t clear to me why. What I do know is that the couples who have come to my live events have left with a new appreciation of what it is we were doing. I have had many people come who were told they “had to be there” by relatives, by wedding policies at the churches they were being married at…and others for whom it was “strongly suggested.” Most times, at the end of the Saturday session…those who had come reluctantly were happy they did.
Why take it on-line?
Life is busy.
We all seem to be running from one thing to another with hardly time to breathe. I found trying to get three or more couples signed up on the same weekend to be a challenge. I’m still working on that, and still doing live weekend events twice a year…but I wanted to reach more couples. Communication and the improvement of it is my passion. I wanted to share this with couples who couldn’t make the dates, the locations and the times work, as well as for those who found being in a group of strangers uncomfortable.
This summer I spent HOURS putting together an on-line, video-based, jam-packed version of MarriageWorks that is far more extensive that what I can fit into a weekend session.
I look forward to helping couples all over the world communicate more deeply and clearly with each other before the wedding day.
Yes, I think it’s really important to have these conversations. I think marriage preparation should be part of the “getting ready.”
What do you think?
ps. to see the full curriculum and to watch the promo video of MarriageWorks, click here.